Part 1 What makes us all tick – the search

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We shall not cease from explor­a­tion and the end of all of our explor­ing, will be to arrive where we star­ted and know the place for the first time’.

- TS Eliot

The search

I’ve always been inter­ested in what makes people tick. Interested in how we can have optim­um exper­i­ences, qual­ity of life and a sense of achieve­ment; how to help people feel bet­ter and do bet­ter. I’ve been look­ing for answers to life’s big ques­tions: Who am I, Why am I? What’s it all about? But also life’s smal­ler ques­tions like how do I….get the kids to tidy up after them­selves, ensure a steady income stream instead of peaks and troughs, do really great work, stick con­sist­ently to a health plan, feel like I am doing ok.

When I was about 21, I was pretty sure I had a handle on and knew everything (oh the arrog­ance of youth). I was liv­ing on my own, had a decent job, was engaged at the time and had just atten­ded some train­ing put on by my employ­er IBM by a man called Lou Tice about how we can cre­ate any­thing we want if we believe in it enough. I think I listened to a week’s worth of Video tapes entitled: ‘I can do it!’ I now believed I had a feel for how life really was. (I’m sure I tried to edu­cate any­one who wanted to listen and even if they didn’t). If we could just get our minds to work pos­it­ively, we could do any­thing. There were no lim­its. Anything was pos­sible.

I thought I would travel the world and be an adven­turer, I would have a great career, meet Mr Right, have a fam­ily – I thought life would turn out some­how if I just fol­lowed my dreams and put in the effort – I thought I was invin­cible some­how.

All of that turned out to be more or less true actu­ally (apart from the invin­cible bit), how­ever what I hadn’t factored in at all were life’s peaks and troughs – I had only ima­gined the peaks. The troughs – well that was anoth­er story… If you have the ‘rest­less gene’ — the thought of ‘lets get away from here to some­where else, some­thing else’ – think­ing that thought will light­en your heart — espe­cially if here/now seems a bit trough-like. Just take a plane, bus, car, train, mind-alter­ing sub­stance or even online portal to some­where new – a new exper­i­ence, new people, new places, new ideas – it will make it bet­ter. (for a while).

So for me, rest­less seek­ing became a habit. Seeking new places — to revive and refresh me, seek­ing new com­munit­ies – to be part of and thrive in, seek­ing new philo­sophies – to sus­tain and enlight­en me, seek­ing new houses – to make me feel settled in and hap­pi­er, seek­ing new people/experiences — to enter­tain, dis­tract and engage me. But there’s that old say­ing ‘wherever you go, there you are.’ And trav­el­lers know that bet­ter than any­one.

When I reflect back on it all I think I was look­ing for a feel­ing of home. Ok-ness , belong­ing, some­thing to fill in ‘the miss­ing’. Peace. And I was def­in­itely look­ing for some­thing out­side of me to provide that feel­ing. A place, a job, a com­munity, a house, a life part­ner, a fam­ily unit, a career, a health tar­get and an amount of money in the bank. A per­son­al devel­op­ment tool, tech­nique or pro­cess. Something else.

In the interest of learn­ing how to cre­ate this per­fect life for myself and oth­ers – I tried a lot of things. Saw a lot of people, went to a lot of sem­inars, did a lot of stuff. Spent a lot of money. It all worked for a bit. Some of it for quite a long bit. I trained as a Leadership Coach. I truly wanted to make a dif­fer­ence to people — I worked really hard on fix­ing myself and oth­er people to help us all be the most per­fect ver­sion of ourselves that we could be. I had the best of inten­tions. I gave it a lot of time, energy and love. All I had. It was my main focus.

The prob­lem was, even with all this try­ing and hard work and even with some great extern­al factors in place and the odd break­through – I still had peaks and troughs and so it seemed did the people I worked with. And when I was (or oth­ers were) in a trough, it felt bad, there was a lot of over-think­ing about it which ten­ded to lead to an even more trough-like exist­ence.

All of which was a bit demor­al­ising.

The insight (or what makes us all tick)

And then about four years ago, I came across an under­stand­ing about the human exper­i­ence that made so much sense and it truly felt like com­ing home. It’s super, super simple really. So simple, it might seem like you’ve heard it before (you have) and you already know it (you do) but don’t think that hear­ing it and know­ing it intel­lec­tu­ally means any­thing (it doesn’t) until you truly see it for your­self. And here is the paradigm shift in under­stand­ing that I came across:

Our exper­i­ence of life is cre­ated 100% from the inside-out.

This has been a gamechanger. Understanding the prin­ciples behind what cre­ates our human exper­i­ence and see­ing for myself the fol­low­ing:

  • All of our exper­i­ences both good and bad are 100% cre­ated from inside of us, in fact our mind can only work one way – it pro­jects real­ity rather than records it.
  • There is a built-in design for suc­cess our minds can nat­ur­ally tap into
  • The more we real­ise and under­stand for ourselves how our exper­i­ence hap­pens, the more we thrive per­son­ally and pro­fes­sion­ally,

And know­ing that this is true for us all – and it’s what makes us all tick – well, that has changed the whole game for me. For more on exactly how this insight has been life-chan­ging for me check out.

Part 2 What makes us all tick – the big insight

Part 3 What makes us all tick – how one simple under­stand­ing changes everything

And if you’d like to hear about it all from me dir­ectly — here’s what I’m up to at the moment:

Leadership Wisdom Open Training June 6–8th, 2016  www.leadershipwisdom.info

One to One Leadership Coaching pro­grammes www.leadershipwisdom.info/coaching121

Bespoke Leadership team events http://www.leadershipwisdom.info/bespok

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About Elizabeth - As a State of Mind Leadership Coach with over 20 years exper­i­ence, Elizabeth Lovius helps busi­ness lead­ers dis­cov­er the source of lead­er­ship wis­dom and be real, more human and true to who they are. Elizabeth facil­it­ates real rela­tion­ships that lead to real busi­ness res­ults. www.elizabethlovius.com

Elizabeth’s cli­ents include: Hewlett Packard, IBM, itsu, ITV, Charlie Bighams, CookFood, Pret a Manger, the English RFU and WPP group.

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